Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Top 5 Mustaches/Top 10 Beards


There's a theme today. When I'm feeling cold in the winter, I can retreat behind my beard and appear stoic and BA while maintaining a reasonable body temperature. The calendar insists, much to the opposition of the weather, that spring has come. So about a month and a half ago, citing a promise to a winning campaign and the end of its functionality, I began the de-bearding process. The never ending trim followed by the dangerous close shave. I'm telling you, a face that hasn't been exposed to the world in 5 months is a bit tender.

In the past, I've thrown going away parties for my beard, lovingly entitled "Bye, Bye Beard." The fliers involved me bearded and in a suit from a previous soirée (Party, Bond Party) with the universal red circle and strike-through. I can provide photographic documentation for the various stages of beardedness that occurred that night. Let's just say there was a movement from convict to James Hetfield to creepy pedo to bare (razor burnt) face.

There was also the infamous "Mustache Fiasco" of 2005 where Jered and myself were fully bearded during the daytime Christmas Eve celebrations, head-faked our way to the next venue, doubled back and removed all but a classic 'stache for myself and a fu-manchu for Jered. There was both laughter and tears. It is still spoken of in certain circles throughout the midwest. Moving right along...

I feel as though I let my beard go a bit prematurely this year and I'm a bit nostalgic today. Here we go, Top 5 Mustaches and Top 10 Beards. Click for visual confirmation.

Mustaches
  1. Sam Elliott
  2. Tom Selleck
  3. John Waters
  4. Frank Zappa
  5. Salvador Dali
Beards
  1. Sage Francis
  2. Darwin
  3. Brahms
  4. Bill Murray
  5. Vinnie Paul
  6. Ulysses S. Grant
  7. Uncle Jesse
  8. Jim Morrison
  9. Aaron Weiss
  10. Me

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